Day 190: Marks of Abuse

Many times, the survivor of abuse will think back on the abuse and wish that it had been worse. If it were worse, if there were physical marks left of abuse, maybe people would finally start to believe her and see that he was in the wrong.

How ridiculous is it that people don’t think that accusations of abuse are real unless there is visible proof!? If he had just left one scar, one bruise, one mark, then people would recognize it. Otherwise, it too often turns into a “he said, she said” situation.

Usually, the abuser is smarter than leaving that. He’ll manipulate, coerce, or threaten, and most of the time, he gets his way before resorting to some visible form of violence. Then, he’ll deny it ever happened. And, if he said it didn’t happen, she’s probably lying, right? There’s no reason to treat him like the abuser he is because there’s no way to tell for sure.  I absolutely hate that people think this way.

Standing up to abuse should NOT only be the survivor’s responsibility. Everyone should stand up to it. No one should treat the abuser like he’s done nothing wrong. He should have to take responsibility for his actions, and he should be the one who is ostracized, not her.

When just the survivor stands up to abuse, it’s too late. The damage has already been done, and the “invisible” marks of abuse have been made.

The marks of abuse

Kudos to Aloura for helping me out tonight! She’s a makeup professional!

Resources for today:

THIS AMAZING VIDEO/WEBSITE. Please, please go watch it and explore the site. It’s so good.

This moving story of “celebrating” the anniversary of assault.

I had some other really great ones, but somehow my internet browser lost them all…


About Whitney

Crochet. DIY. Gardens. Nonprofits. Crafts. Travel. Organic. Food. Photography. Digital Marketing. Social Media. PR.
This entry was posted in Project 365, Sexual Assault Awareness Month and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Day 190: Marks of Abuse

  1. bonniegunkel says:

    I need to come up with another word besides amazing, but it just fits so perfectly. Your passion for this cause is nothing short of well, amazing. 🙂 I love that not only am I viewing your amazing photos, but I am learning so much about something so close to your heart. 🙂

  2. mindymilburn says:

    “Standing up to abuse should NOT only be the survivor’s responsibility. Everyone should stand up to it” I could not agree with this statement more. Most people don’t want to “get involved” but I would hope if someone say my sister or niece or friend getting attacked or abused that they would take action. Sadly that is just not the case.

    There is also the horrible trend of mental abuse that will leave no one visible scar to be seen but can be just as damaging.

    Thank you again Whitney for opening the conversation about these issues, you really are making your mark girl and I am so proud to know you!

    • Thank you Mindy!!!! I’m glad you think so! I’m feeling so doubtful about my effect, but that means so much coming from you. I’m so glad you all are supporters for the cause too 🙂 And it takes so much more than just numbers to get people involved. I feel like EVERYONE knows SOMEONE who has been sexually assaulted, whether they know it or not. I just don’t know what it’s going to take to put this to an end!!

      And yes! Mental abuse affects just as many, if not more, people as sexual abuse! There’s no mark except on the inside, and it’s just terrible!

  3. schleefy says:

    There are no other words than amazing, wow….perfect. Your statement is more than right and should open all people eyes. Keep going……

    The photo is “Hammer” ….we say that in Germany for a perfect photo….

  4. Alourad says:

    I’m glad I could help you with this! I just found out that the radio station I am working for is not just a radio station for women’s empowerment but specifically end violence against women and spread awareness around sexual abuse. It’s crazy to think about a topic so close to our hearts and homes is just as significant around the world.

    In senegal they are dealing with the same issues of silence, denial, putting the blame on the woman, etc. I can’t wait to share their perspectives, issues and ideas with you when I get home.

    • Yay!!! I’m so excited to hear about it!! And yeah, isn’t that crazy that it’s such a worldwide problem!? That’s not something I thought about before I started this theme this month, then with the guy who commented above you, he’s from Germany and is in full support! It’s crazy to think about how the same situation holds true across the world, in all cultures, and all languages. I just can’t figure out why!! Awful. Anyway, yah! I am really excited to hear about it! Hurry up and get home!

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