Many times, the survivor of abuse will think back on the abuse and wish that it had been worse. If it were worse, if there were physical marks left of abuse, maybe people would finally start to believe her and see that he was in the wrong.
How ridiculous is it that people don’t think that accusations of abuse are real unless there is visible proof!? If he had just left one scar, one bruise, one mark, then people would recognize it. Otherwise, it too often turns into a “he said, she said” situation.
Usually, the abuser is smarter than leaving that. He’ll manipulate, coerce, or threaten, and most of the time, he gets his way before resorting to some visible form of violence. Then, he’ll deny it ever happened. And, if he said it didn’t happen, she’s probably lying, right? There’s no reason to treat him like the abuser he is because there’s no way to tell for sure. I absolutely hate that people think this way.
Standing up to abuse should NOT only be the survivor’s responsibility. Everyone should stand up to it. No one should treat the abuser like he’s done nothing wrong. He should have to take responsibility for his actions, and he should be the one who is ostracized, not her.
When just the survivor stands up to abuse, it’s too late. The damage has already been done, and the “invisible” marks of abuse have been made.
Kudos to Aloura for helping me out tonight! She’s a makeup professional!
Resources for today:
THIS AMAZING VIDEO/WEBSITE. Please, please go watch it and explore the site. It’s so good.
This moving story of “celebrating” the anniversary of assault.
I had some other really great ones, but somehow my internet browser lost them all…